Depression and Grieving

The last couple of weeks have been interesting. I have really been missing my late husband, Bobby. He passed May 2005, so it's been 18 months. I haven't really grieved, I guess I've been too busy. Things haven't been going as well as I had hoped and my money is getting low. I'm really missing his regular income, having someone to talk to and bounce ideas off.

I know he would be proud of me, of how far I have come and what I've achieved. I've changed a lot in the last 18 months, I wonder if he would recognise me. I'm more sure of myself, of what I want, where I'm going, even though I still may be unsure of how to get there.

Anyway, the whole grieving thing has caused me to be very depressed so I've been to the Dr and she's given me some meds and sent me for grief counseling.

I've also been giving myself therapy in the form of sewing. I've had quite a break from doing any sort of sewing but am now getting back into it. I made a healing Angel doll yesterday. It's so cool. I got the idea from the article in Cloth Paper Scissors, but didn't really like the faces. I had these faces I got from ARTchix Studio (which I now stock) so I used those instead.

I'm really happy with the way she turned out. The image on her chest is from Paper Whimsy. She reminds me of me when I was that age. She represents me. The Scripture verse talks about how God sends his angels to minister to those who will inherit salvation. The doll is created by me to remind me that no matter what I go through I am not along. God's angels are there helping me, strengthening me, and encouraging me through each and every moment.

So the depression isn't as bad today. Creating helps me to focus on other things rather than what I'm going through and how I'm feeling. I guess you could say "I create away my troubles". And with God's help I know I will heal.